Are you lonely tonight? (reclaimed text from an earlier post)

Well Muffins...


As I have mentioned before - I am new to this and I am still getting used to the technology.

Here is the complete original version of the post that I made on 1/28/06 - some of it is the same - some of it is still relevant but a brand new read.


Today was a truly challenging day. I found myself with a considerable amount of time on my hands this afternoon and not really in the mood to read (usually one of my favorite pastimes). I flipped through the channels on the tele and, in spite of over 900 channels, found nothing that sparked my interest. I guess what was really going on was the preoccupation I have had recently with people (myself included) who report having plenty of freinds in their life but suffer periodic bouts of loneliness.

I found myself questioning whether I am a good person, surely I must be - but why then am I alone on a Saturday. All I needed to do, however, is go down the road of aloneness a little further to realize that my life has been so overstuffed with events and activities lately that I have not had time to just relax. I guess it is the comparison that really made me appreciate how nice it was to have a respite.

You see, I am a people person. I love meeting new folks, am able to converse with almost anyone, and truly enjoy the company of others. I would like to think that I am able to make most people feel comfortable when they are around me, especially when I am entertaining them in my home. I am quite used to having others around. I love cooking and entertaining for large groups and the sound of laughter (and occasionaly tears) is welcome in my world. I often have so much activity in the course of the day that when I am faced with true quiet, it can be a bit unnerving.

That said, I did come to appreciate the moment. I remembered a task that I have been putting off. I had a stack of Napkins (cloth ones) that had been laundered after several recent dinner parties. They were clean, but wrinkled and waiting for an iron. So I set to the task. I actually made it through about 35 napkins during this marathon steam session and was amazed at how much clarity of thought can be procured whilst engaging in mundane rote task work. You see, it didn't really take alot of skill or thought to do the task. All it required was dedication and perseverence. My mind was free to think through all of the thoughts that could have otherwise set my mind to racing. I was able to remember the people in my life who make it so rich. I was able to appreciate how nice it is to engage in adult relationships with my children. I was able to cherish the loved ones who are no longer living but I will always hold dear. Most importantly, I was able to remember that without my occasional bout of loneliness, I would not be able to truly appreciate how much love and companionship with spectacular people I noramlly enjoy.

It is very true you know. In order to appreciate the light of Spring you need the comparison of the darkness of Winter. I hope you each are able to weather your darker moments in order to appreciate the lighter ones. I wish for each of you the joy of knowing a true friend. If ever you are feeling like you don't have a friend - remeber they are out there to be made all around you.

Case in point...
I had dinner with friends night before last and the host told us a tale of how one day he encountered someone at the gas pump who offered to pump the gas for a donation. He very graciously told the person that he did not have the spare cash and that what he had needed to go into his tank so that he could continue to make it to work that week. He then continued to engage in dialogue with the person, even though it was clear that they would not be receiving any cash from him. After several minutes of chatting the person asked my friend "why are you still talking to me" to which he replied "I cannot give you any money as I have no extra". He then added "I can give you my time and respect as both of those are free".

Making friends is a no cost activity. Some people will try to make it something that has a fee (present exchanges, who paid for the last bill at dinner, etc.) but remember this:

To make a friend requires very little of you other than the desire to be "present". It took a pile of napkins for me to be reminded of these simple facts. Actaully, the napkins just gave me the time and focus to remeber what I knew all along. I do not need to be lonely, I just need to reach out.

Love and peace.

Mrs. P